Apology to God

Almost twenty years ago I was given a miracle. That blessing changed the entire course of my life.

On that wonderful evening so long ago I was taught that my life is a vessel, and I have been blessed with the opportunity to fill it with as much joy and happiness as I so choose.

I was taught that true joy is available to all of us and all we need to do to claim this prize is to open our eyes and see it all around us, to open our hearts and receive it.

I learned that true happiness isn't found in a fat bank account or a huge house. I learned that it's found in the opening of a flower, the touch of the wind, or the laugh of a child. These are all around us, and are as free for us to take as the wild blackberries that grow down by the river.

I learned that all of these blessings are gifts, freely given, and available to receive if only we choose to do so.

Earthly knowledge teaches us different lessons. That joy is an expensive car. That happiness is found in money and power. That we somehow need to earn these things, and that enough is *never* enough. The voice of the world is loud and pervasive. It screams at us all the time.

Well, after almost twenty years I weakened to the voice of the world. I stopped listening to the simple truths, and I started listening to the complicated lies.

I was foolish and arrogant.

And now I am asking the Teacher to forgive me. To give me a second (third? hundredth?) chance. I want to learn the lesson once again.

And this time I'll try to do a better job at remembering it.

-Jess