Bozos and the Businessman

Last Friday was a wacky and weird day…

When I was getting around that morning, I decided I do the business casual look for the day. I didn't have plans to go into the office, but I just felt like dressing nice. I put on this long brown tweed skirt that I got in San Francisco, a new pair of heels, and a white top with a high neckline.

Those of you who have seen me in person know that I don't own very many high neckline tops! There is a reason behind this, which I'll get to in a moment…

So, I gathered up my purse and my laptop bag and headed out into the city. I had a little running to do that day, and I also had a report that I needed to write. It was a pretty day, and I thought I just might do my work in a nice corner café somewhere in town.

Well, those new heels were killing me before I even made it to the subway platform. Luckily for me, Sharon has taught me the tip of always having a pair of comfortable shoes in reserve. I switched to my sandals right there on the platform. Ahhh, much better!

So, after doing my running I found what looked to be an inviting little pub and got a table by the window. As I was typing my report, I noticed that a cricket match was on the telly, and some blokes were showing up to watch the game. As the time went on, more and more men showed up to watch the game and get a pint or so. This crowd looked to be mostly construction workers and the like, and they were starting to get a little rowdy.

That's when it happened.

I got that itchy feeling that someone was watching me. I looked up from my work, and sure enough, a couple of those guys were looking at me and whispering. I always get insecure when this happens, but I really thought that my appearance was nice that day. I tried to convince myself that maybe they were giving me admiring looks instead of something else.

After a few minutes, my insecurities got the best of me and I decided to head back home. I gathered up my stuff and headed for the restroom before leaving the pub. As I walked in the door of the lady's room, one of the schmucks shouted out, "You're going in the wrong one"!

Shit.

Well, I went in and did my business. As I was in the restroom I started to get really pissed off. I absolutely hate it when people are so rude. After all, what had I done to them? Assholes…

Ok, so I made up my mind right then. I headed out of the loo and walked right straight up to their table. There were about 8 of them sitting there, and they all looked up as I came over.

"Which of you made the comment about the restroom?", I asked.

They all looked about rather sheepishly, shaking their heads and saying "not me" like a bunch of stupid three year-olds.

"Well", I went on, "perhaps the one who made the comment should be using the same loo I just did, because it's obvious that you're a bigger pussy than I."

I turned and walked out of the pub.

Ok, ok… I'll admit that perhaps it wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do, but I was really upset. And I've always been a strong believer that one should stand up for what's right in this world, otherwise the shitheads will win in the end.

I guess there's also the point that after 10 years of martial arts training, I thought I could at least take a *few* of them!

Well, nothing further happened as a result of my encounter with the schmucks, except for the fact that I was now in a pretty crappy mood as I walked to the tube.

On the way my phone rang. It was Jane and Soyoung, this lovely couple that Sharon and I know. They were at a pub in Soho, and wanted to know if Sharon and I wanted to join them for dinner and drinks.

Sure thing! Anything to raise my spirits… and past experience had shown me that these to ladies were a lot of fun to hang out with!

I went home to drop off my laptop, fetch Sharon, change clothes, and fix my face for a night out.

After being read (being clocked for you Brits…) by the bozos earlier, I decided to really do myself up for the night. Now, I'll admit, I did go a *bit* over the top, but when I finished I looked GOOD!

I was wearing a very short denim mini that I'm sure my mother wouldn't have let me out of the house in, a tight, low-cut tank top that left little to the imagination, and a black shrug to cover my shoulders.

Now as I mentioned above, there really is a logical reason why I like to wear low-cut tops. After being transitioned for about five months I've learned that the lower my top is, the less likely I am to get read as a transsexual. Well, I personally didn't care if the top was a cheap trick on my part, I just didn't want a repeat of that afternoon. As a result, I let it *all* hang out, honey!

Finally, I re-did my makeup. For the evening, I decided to try something new with my eyes, turning them into a pair of really smoky dark orbs. They looked great!

After all that, Sharon and I were off to Soho!

Suffice it to say we were a little late getting to the pub and Jane and Soyoung were just a little bit tipsy by the time we got there. As we walked in the door, heads turned. I think every bloke in the place checked Sharon and I out, and not a one of them thought we were anything other than a couple of sexy girls out on the town! Perfect!

We had a drink, and then headed to Chinatown for dinner at this lovely little restaurant that Sharon and I know. After dinner and a couple of bottles of wine, we were all feeling in jovial spirits, and we decided to head to another pub to finish off the night.

Our friends were getting cooked, and they decided to head home after the last pub. Sharon and I didn't feel much like clubbing just the two of us, so we decided to head back as well. I was kinda disappointed because I had really wanted to go dancing that night. Ah well, at least we wouldn't have to ride the night bus home. That hour-long ride always sucked, especially after a night of drinking!

As we walked to the Leicester Square tube station, we walked past the Hippodrome, which is a trendy dance club in the center of London. I peeked my head inside as we passed. I had never been there before and I was curious about what kind of place it was.

While I looked in, the manager caught sight of the two of us. She was over in a flash, and invited the two of us into the club, no cover charge! Now, the clubs in London always like to be filled with pretty women, so this kind of invite is always a huge ego-booster for little ol' insecure me!

I looked to Sharon for her thoughts, and she said, "why not"? We headed in to the club.

It was a great venue. Clean, nicely decorated, and with a very friendly and polite staff. Plus that night was 80's night, and the dance music was straight from our youth. The night started of with a couple of professional dancers, and then an RnB act took the stage before the DJ took over for the rest of the night.

Sharon and I were dancing front and center for the entire evening, and we were surrounded by guys who wanted to dance with us. We always get a laugh out of telling them that we're married. They never catch on to the fact that we mean that we are married to each other!

As the night progressed, there was one older man who seemed to be more persistent than most of the rest. He had his eyes all over me, wishing to undress me with his gaze right there on the dance floor. He kept dancing right next to me, and it was obvious that he wanted to put his hands on me.

Well, I didn't mind the attention, but I didn't want to lead him on. When he didn't seem to get the hint as I flashed him my wedding band, I decided that I just needed to verbally explain the situation.

Having a chat in a loud club is never an easy proposition, and with my lousy hearing it's just about impossible. So I led him off the dance floor to the side of the venue where it was a little quieter. I then explained that all he was getting that night was a dance.

He said something in reply, which I didn't catch the first time. I asked him to repeat what he said. That's when I realized he had propositioned me!

This guy had just offered me £2000 (about $3600 US dollars) to have sex with him! I could barely believe my ears!

I smiled coyly and declined his offer. I then headed back to the dance floor to rejoin Sharon.

Mr. Persistent was back as well, and he just kept smiling at me and dancing ever closer and closer. Sharon had collected her own paramour in my absence, and we decided that that was our clue to head home.

We excused ourselves to the loo, and had a girl's chat in the restroom. That's when I told her (and everyone else in the loo) that I had just been propositioned with £2000. Well, the bathroom attendant overheard this and asked if we were all right. I thanked her for her concern, and assured her that we were fine. As we exited the loo, who was waiting for us in the hall? You betcha… Both Sharon's and my would be Romeos were standing there chatting. As soon as we came out, they both turned up the charm to full blast.

Well, I think that the lady's room attendant must have seen the four of us standing there talking. She came out and fetched one of the security folks to check on us. I really appreciate that kind of service from the staff of a club! Once again, I assured the guard that we were fine, but I think the two guys finally got the hint and decided to head out. But before the two left, they made sure that we got their phone numbers. On the note handed to me, my admirer had also written out the amount "£2000", just to make sure I didn't forget his offer.

Now folks, I know that most people might be offended at the implications of an offer for paid sex. Personally, I've always had a pretty open mind concerning a person's right to do with their own body as they so choose. And although I had no intention of taking that man up on his offer, I have to admit that I felt flattered that someone found me so desirable that they would be willing to part with that much money just for a few hours of my time.

And one thing is absolutely for certain: I'd much rather have someone offer me £2000 for sex than have them shout nasty things at my back as I'm heading for the restroom!

-Jess