Blue eyes, blonde hair

Now, as many of you know, I'm a pretty devout Catholic. That said, I'm a member of the Church due to the teachings of Christ, not due to the teachings of the men that make up the human organization. Please keep this in mind as you read the following journal entry.


Just the other day I read an article about some forthcoming changes being made by the Catholic Church. They are finally getting off of their butts and doing something about a horrible heresy that has infiltrated our faith! Well, I say cheers to that!

Of course, what I am talking about is the presence of all of those God-forsaken brown-eyed men that have invaded our seminaries and pulpits!

Now, before you all accuse me of being unchristian, please understand that I realize it is not their fault that they were born with brown eyes. I just take objection to them brazenly flaunting them. Most of these men don't even have the common decency to wear sunglasses when they are out in public! And, personally, I just can't abide by the thought of them preaching to me and my children on a Sunday morning…

The Church has good reason behind their decision to root out the darkies from the body religious. After all, Christ had blue eyes, didn't he? And of course, so did all of the disciples, with the exception of Judas. He was obviously a darkie. Just look at all of the holy artwork that shows us as much! So it makes perfect sense that the Church would want to follow the Lord's example.

Well, as part of their effort to purge the Church of this abomination, I read that the Vatican intends to send out inquisitors to the various US seminaries to help root out the brown menace. They will be interviewing the students, staff, and faculty to insure that there are none of 'those' people around. They'll even be checking to see is anyone is hiding behind colored contact lenses.

Personally, I think that the Church should take this a few steps further just to make sure that the problem is stamped out once and for all.

For example, I think that once they find one of 'those', the Church should make sure that they could never try to sneak back in our midst. Perhaps some kind of permanent mark should be used… A tattoo of a brown orb on their shoulder, or maybe a serial number branded on their arm. Of course, they could use an even *more* permanent solution…

Hopefully after this is all finished, the Church might turn its attention to all the non-blondes that are gallivanting around.

Maybe someday we'll finally get our perfect faith!

Let us pray…
-Jess