Music

Music is hugely important in my life. I would go so far as to say that without it, I probably wouldn't be here today. That's a pretty big statement to make, but there is a strong reason behind it.

I've long had barriers to expressing certain kinds of emotion, most noted being sadness. Now that doesn't mean that I don't feel sad occasionally. The opposite is much more often true. What it does mean is that I find it almost impossible to express that sadness. Personally I have cried only once or twice in the last few years, even while on hormone therapy.

Sadness is a fact of life, and not being able to let that emotion out is a very dangerous situation that can lead to depression and even despair. In an effort to vent some of these feelings, I have found that by playing certain songs I'm able to ride "piggyback" on the emotions of the music. I don't just do this with sadness, but that is the emotion that I find needs addressing most frequently.

These songs are not all downers. In fact, many of them are songs of hope, encouragement, and support. Reading these web pages is one way for you, the reader, to get into my head. But if you truly want to understand who I am, listen to my music.

This list is in no particular order. Probably the things that are jazzing me the most at the moment will appear near the top. I'll be adding to this list over time.

One last thing. If the song title is underlined, just click on it for the lyrics. If the artist's name is underlined, click on that for their home page. I hope you enjoy these!

-Jess


Lullaby for a Stormy Night – Vienna Teng
This song is definitely a song of support and love. The lyrics speak of a fearful child being cared for by a loving adult. I often feel like the child in the song. Unfortunately, I now need to be my own adult. I've always longed for this kind of unconditional love and security.

Vincent – Don McLean
"For they could not love you, but still your love was true...".

Eye of the Hurricane – David Wilcox
This is a song of passion, sadness, and desperation. I can really relate to this song, but I am very happy to say that is much less the case now that I've finally started to live my life as Jessica. A lyric that has always stuck with me is, "When you lay your dream to rest, you can get what's second best… but it's hard to get enough".

Everybody Hurts – REM
Well, if you've ever felt like doing yourself in, this song should speak to you. I like the REM version, but I am also drawn to the cover by The Corrs. I have this thing for good female vocals…

Creep – Radiohead
They have eyes, but they see not...

Help – The Beatles
They have ears to hear, but hear not...

Change – Ellis Paul
This is one of those songs where the music, the over-all sound, moves me more than the lyrics. Ellis Paul's voice is haunting and filled with longing.

Half Acre – Hem
Listening to Sally Ellyson's vocals is like being drawn into a gentle story, a magical fable. I don't know what about this song moves me so, I just know it does. You can check out a number of Hem's free live concert recordings here.

One Moment More – Mindy Smith
Mindy Smith is a new discovery for me. I'm looking for more for this fantastic singer/songwriter. The song, "One Moment More" is about longing for a lover who is leaving.

Some Believe – LJ Booth
If you've heard LJ Booth, you are very, very lucky. This Wisconsin based songwriter and performer isn't nearly as well known as he should be. This is a tale of the insanity of the threat of war from the eyes of the common person. This song has a fantastic hook that hits you like a punch to the stomach.

Dialogue with the Devil
All the Diamonds
Rocket Launcher – Bruce Cockburn
These are only three songs from a list that could go on and on. Bruce Cockburn sings about issues and emotions that are real and relevant to my life. The first song, "Dialogue with the Devil" is exactly that, a discussion with a very persuasive evil, full of all the moral issues that such a conversation would have. "All the Diamonds" is a joyful tune that Bruce has played for me on a couple of occasions. The last song, "Rocket Launcher", is probably Bruce's most well known. It speaks of a pacifist's frustration with a world system that condones and supports oppression and violence.

The Blower's Daughter – Damien Rice
This song was featured in the movie "Closer" and it represents longing and missed opportunity to me. I don't know why, or if that is what the performer intended. That's just what it says to me.

Super Duper Love – Joss Stone
What a great, fun jam! Joss Stone rocks! And what a totally sexy voice!

I Will Remember You – Sarah McLachlan
This was the first song that I ever heard by Sarah. It was featured during the closing credits of a movie called "The Brothers McMullen". As soon as I heard her voice I was captivated. The rest of the movie features the exceptional instrumental Irish music of Seamus Egan. Well worth a listen.

Strawberry wine – Deana Carter
Hey, what's a pop country song doing on this list??? Deana Carter has such a great voice that I don't think she should be ignored. Additionally, this song speaks to me of experiences that I wish I could have lived. Ahh, to have been a 17 year old caught somewhere between a woman and a child…

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
Back in 1987, Wim Wenders wrote and directed a fantastic film called "Wings of Desire". As is often the case, it was remade by the Americans into a entertaining, but inferior, copy called "City of Angels". The remake did have an outstanding soundtrack, and this song was featured. Watch the original film, and listen to this song. You'll enjoy both.

Follow Me Up – Keb' Mo'
Keb' Mo' is a great contemporary bluesman who just knocks my socks off. I love this song! I'm also dyslexic. Maybe that's why when I was shouting out requests at a concert of his a few years ago I managed to yell, "Please play Carry Me Down"! Suffice it to say, he had no idea what I was talking about.

The Weakness in Me – Joan Armatrading
A very compelling song about infidelity. Check it out...

Jane Said – Jane's Addiction
This is an absolutely fantastic song. I rushed out and bought the album as soon as I heard this. Shame is, it's the only song that sounds remotely like this! Oh well, it's still a great song.

Holy Man
No Rain – Blind Melon
Both of these songs rock. They don't have any particular emotional meaning for me, but they are great jams! I am pissed off that Shannon had to go and kill himself. Why do folks feel the drive for self destruction, just when they are at the top of their game? Sheesh... I should ask such a thing?

Uncle John's Band – Indigo Girls
Ok, I know that this was an old Dead tune, but I really love the way that Amy and Emily have recreated it. They have a huge collection of their own material that I could add to this list, but I'm gonna start with this one.